


Before I Run Dry

by axolotlNerd, Desidearest



Series: YouTuber x Reader [3]
Category: Game Grumps, NSP - Fandom, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom, Skyhill - Band, Starbomb - Band, Video Blogging RPF, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Abduction, Age Difference, Angst, CHAPTER 17!, Crime Drama, Dark, Depressing, F/M, Fluff, Jew-fro, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Possessive Kidnapper, Pregnant Reader, Prostitution, Protective Danny, SO FLUFFY, Smut, Yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2018-08-09 20:11:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 17,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7815469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/axolotlNerd/pseuds/axolotlNerd, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desidearest/pseuds/Desidearest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Helpless and afraid, you reached out to a certain mop of curly, brown hair to put yourself back together. Unfortunately, even with a knight in shining armor, life isn't always going to end with a happily ever after. Can you escape the chaos your has become before you run dry?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bindings

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! Welcome to my newest fanfic!

_That one. I want that one._

The world around you was spinning as the voices surrounding you slowly became distorted.

_Her? Sorry, kid. She's mine and mine alone. She's not up for sale._

You could feel your bindings digging into your skin, creating burn marks as you struggled to regain consciousness. When he sees those red welts, he's going to be delighted. The sadist in him will become an aroused monstrosity once he sees those wounds. That's the way it usually plays out.

_Why have her out here if she's not up for grabs?_

_Let's just say she's my display. She's the representation of all the wonderful things to come._

_Makes sense._

Stop lying! None of this made sense. Why were you here? Why was your naked body bound to a chair? Why were you surrounded by other girls who are trapped in this endless nightmare with you? You needed answers, or you were going to die. 

_How about her?_

_I see you have an eye for fresh meat. Good for you._

Your clouded vision focused a bit, revealing a young girl, no older than fifteen, shivering in fear.  
The drugs coursing through your system released their grip and the sudden shift to sobriety was jarring. 

_Aww. The poor thing. She must be scared. Don't worry. It may hurt a bit, but you'll learn to love it after a while._

The conversation between the voices suddenly became inaudible before a man in a trench coat grabbed the girl's hand, signifying that he had made his selection.

_Very well. You've already made your payment. Go on._

_I gave you ten thousand. The girl is at least seven. I'd like my change._

_Ah, ah, ah. The girl you're preparing to take home is a virgin. You don't see too many of them nowadays. That fact in itself is definitely worth the extra three thousand._

_True. I suppose ten thousand for a virgin is a bargain._

The first voice, the Seller, you had decided to call it, chuckled.

_Damn straight. She's all yours, kid. Do her to your heart's content._

_Certainly._

The coated man yanked the girl from her bindings and her face was shown as she was shoved.  
Your heart skipped a beat.  
That girl was _you._


	2. Baby Girl

"Damn, Daniel! Back at it again with the-"  
"Please, Arin. I donated my perfectly good white Vans to Goodwill because of that meme. I don't want to donate you." Dan growled.  
"Geez. Harsh much? I was going to say 'back at it again with the showstopper', but you had to ruin it. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Suzy would buy me back at a reasonable price. Right, sweetie?" Arin chuckled as he cuddled his wife.  
Suzy shook her head. "Who said that?"  
"Suze!" Arin whined, pouting and sliding into the booth.  
"You big baby. I meant that there is no reasonable price for you because your existence is priceless."  
"Aww. You're so sweet. I love you."

Danny gagged audibly. "I'm surprised I haven't developed diabetes being around all of this sweet stuff. Bleh!"  
"Is someone jealous because they're still single?" Suzy cooed.  
"Hell no! I'll have you know that I have a significant other."  
That got everyone's attention.   
"Oh yeah? How come I haven't seen or heard of her before now?" Arin prodded.  
Dan folded his arms.  
"My God, Arin. We're living in the twenty-first century. Who said my love interest is of the opposite sex? In fact, my _boyfriend_ is someone who visits the Grump Space quite frequently."  
"Is it Barry?" Suzy asked.  
"Nope."  
"Mark?" Arin chimed.  
"Think less Asian."  
"Jon?"  
"No! That's fucking sick! Christ, no!"

At that instant, Brian came around with an armful of drinks.  
"Thirsty, anyone?"  
"I'm pretty sure Mr. Sexbang is." Suzy sneered.  
Danny flicked her off and gently pulled Brian to his side.  
"Ninja Brian is my one and only."  
"The hell I am! What the hell have you been smoking, dude?"  
"Ecstasy. And it's the ecstasy that I feel when I'm around you." Dan sang quietly.  
Now it was Arin and Suzy's turn to gag.  
"I'm kidding, Bri. You're cool. I was just trying to prove a point to these dinguses."

Brian sighed in relief before finally settling down. "If I may make a suggestion, if it's girl trouble you're having, Danny-boy, go look around. You're in a bar with tons of hot girls who would kill for a one night stand with Daniel Leigh Avidan."  
Arin sniffed audibly. "May I remind you that this is LA? You'd be here for days trying to find a girl who isn't a prostitute or has several children by different fathers."  
Suzy laughed and punched his arm playfully. "Dan doesn't have that kind of time. He's almost 40!"  
"You'll see. I'll find my own eventually. I need some air."  
-  
"Stop it! You're hurting me!"  
"How dare you talk to other men when I'm not around?!"

Dan walked out of the bar, dazed. A man beating up a woman brought him back to his senses.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"  
The man looked and dropped the woman to the ground.  
"This is none of your business! Piss off!"  
"If a chick's getting beat up like that, it is my business!"  
"Look, douchebag. I don't know who you think you are, but back the fuck off."

Sirens blared in the distance and the man ran off, leaving the battered girl behind. The girl stood shakily.  
"Thank you, sir. I appreciate the help. I- Danny?"  
"(Y/N)? Oh my God. Baby girl."


	3. Abducted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tad bit of backstory.

"Hey, (Y/N). You don't look too good."  
"What the hell are you talking about, Opal? I'm completely fine!" You slurred as you tried to walk in a straight line to prove your point.  
Your friend, who was slightly buzzed, but not completely hammered like you were sighed. "Look! There's a taxi coming we should totally hail him down."  
"Pfft. Whatever happened to Jonathan? He's our designated driver. He'll take us home."  
"(Y/N). Jonathan is passed out on the floor with a bottle of vodka still in his hand! Do you really think he can take us home?"

You closed your eyes and waved Opal off. "Jonathan is an unreliable sack of shit anyways. You what what? Fuck this shit. I'm walking home."  
"No the hell you aren't! You're not walking from a downtown LA bar to your apartment by yourself!"  
"Fucking watch me, you bitch!"

You would soon hate the vulgar, alcohol-driven brat you were when you came to the next day, but let's not worry about that now.

With your spaghetti strap dress hanging loosely off your shoulders, mussed hair, and one heel on, it was a surprise that you weren't picked up by the police and mistaken for a hooker on some kind of drug. God, you felt awful. You could have sworn the man that bought you that dirty margarita at the club had put something in it. Usually, you could handle your spirits well, but you felt like your body was eating itself alive. Utterly exhausted, you slumped in between a dumpster and a man?

"Hey, baby. I got cash. How 'bout you hook me up with one of those Saturday night specials, huh? I'll give ya a good time that's for sure."  
The man fondled your breasts and started licking your face, like a puppy sharing his affection.

"Get the fuck off me, you old perv! I don't want your herpes!" You screeched and shoved him off.  
He reeked of smoke, garbage, and urine, not to mention that he smelled like he bathed in liquor this morning, if he washed at all.  
"You're one of those feisty ones, eh? I like my fish wet and squirmy." He purred sensually. You would have punched him out if it weren't for your impaired motor skills.  
You sprinted as fast as your wobbly legs could take you. The last thing you heard from the drunkard was   
"Fuck you! You weren't worth my two bucks anyway! You tired slut!"

_I'm so fucking tired. What the hell that that guy put in that drink? Whatever. I'll be home soon anyways._

The truth was that you were nowhere near home. In fact, you had passed it in your drunken stupor two hours ago. A tall figure soon appeared in the distance. Your now hallucinogenic mind urged you to rush to him (and that the stray cat in the alley had talked).  
Gladly, the man took you in his arms and hugged you tight. You soon felt the pinch of a syringe in your arm and drifted off into the sleep you so desperately desired.

YESTERDAY, 2:30 AM. TEENAGER (Y/N) (L/N) KIDNAPPED AFTER SNEAKING INTO A BAR. IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ON HER WHEREABOUTS, PLEASE CONTACT THE LOS ANGELES POLICE DEPARTMENT IMMEDIATELY


	4. Detective Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan thinks about his neighbors next door on a Saturday morning.

Dan lazily strummed his guitar. It was a warm, beautiful California morning; the sun rising overhead as birds began to chirp their morning songs with Danny playing in accompaniment. He would easily consider the morning as perfect, if it weren't for the mysteries of the apartment next door. 

You see, Danny's neighbor was a businessman who kept to himself most of time. He didn't seem to cause any trouble, but there were nights where he could the man yelling and blows landing. There were also the sobs of a woman. With each yelp, the woman seemed to lose a part of her soul. The first few were filled with anger and frustration while the last were nothing but pitiful sobs. Occasionally, Dan's neighbor would praise her for "submitting" and drag her off into what he assumed to be his bedroom to have his way with her. This, unfortunately, was a normal occurrence and it sickened him each time.

He tried to talk about it to Arin, Suzy, Barry, and even Brian and Mark about this, but they all said the same thing:

_I know it sucks, but try to stay out of it if you can help it. It's none of your business anyway. Just try not to get involved in something that might hurt you or your career._

Dan sighed. His friends were right to a certain degree. Whatever that man does with his girlfriend or wife is his business. He shouldn't intrude like that. But still, it wasn't right to just sit there, knowing that someone was being abused next door and he had the power to stop it. The brunette groaned and sat on his couch while he continued to pluck a few of his guitar's strings. Something wasn't right. Something kept him from continuing his song. Something was urging him to go next door and figure out the mysteries that surrounded the adjacent apartment.

It was time for Danny to do some detective work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so short! I promise that the next ones will be longer! Bear with me please! /)>~


	5. Curly Fry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny has a moment to think after he's discovered you...

It was creepy, yes, but Danny watched over you as you slept. It was natural to feel the way he did. You were his _baby girl._ You were like the prodigal son; disappearing only to return in a pitiful state. He was afraid that if his eyes faltered for one second, you would disappear like a mirage in the blazing desert. After all, the man watching you snore quietly on his sofa hadn't seen you in years! You were as good as dead after the first few days of your disappearance. Danny scoffed.

_As if it's common practice to kill the victims you worked so hard to abduct._

Sure it was a dark thought but it made sense. Why would you put so much effort in devising a plan that had stumped authorities for years only to kill off your motive? Dan shook his head. He had been watching too many crime scene dramas. They had become his obsession after you were kidnapped. He felt as if the protagonists had the key to solving the mystery that was your sudden absence.

"Mm... Arturo... I-is that you?" You yawned sheepishly as you awoke from your nap.  
"No, (Y/N). It's me, Danny. Remember I found you at the nightclub two days ago?" Daniel patiently sighed.

Arturo Valentine. That was the name of your kidnapper, the Grumps had learned. A name that would rise bile in Danny's throat every time he heard it or read it. How he wished he could eradicate that name from existence. But he couldn't. Instead, the man with that name was rotting in prison for life without bail for previous crimes of the same nature. And frankly, he wouldn't have it any other way. At any rate, he had to worry about (Y/N). You still thought that you were locked away from the real world by the man who convinced you through methods of pain and abuse that he was your world. It made him sick to think that you were right next door. (Y/N) had been under his nose the whole time. Those pitiful squeaks were _yours._ And that tore him apart.

"Oh yeah. I forgot Curly Fry picked me up," You chuckled airily. "I wanna thank you again, Sexbang. I thought I was gonna die that night." Suddenly your joking demeanor changed to a serious, more somber one. Tears filled your eyes and your heart began to pound. "He was going to kill me that night. I told him I was sorry, but he doesn't take apologies well. He was gonna kill me! If you hadn't have come when you did, I would be in a morgue!"

You were panicking. Flashbacks of hands around your windpipe, exhaustion from being violated in ungodly ways at ungodly hours were flooding your brain. You squirmed in fear at what you felt next: a pair of large hands cupping your face and wiping tears away. It was Danny. Your "Curly Fry". They weren't wiping away tears that may incriminate. Those hands were wiping away tears that stemmed from horrid memories. Memories that he wanted to protect you from, since he failed to protect you from everything else. He was your knight in shining armor. You were the fair maiden who had captured his affection and Arturo was the dragon that kept you apart. You needn't worry, though. The dragon has been slain. But his fire left scars and burns on your (S/C) flesh that may last until the end.

"Shh, baby girl. You're here. You're safe. He's gone now. He's gone forever. Shh. I know it hurts. Let it all out... It's gonna be okay. Shh..." Danny whispered.  
It was funny how you were acting like the baby girl he called you so often. But that was okay. After being in such horrible adult situations, you were bound to break down and become the child that was led astray years ago. He accepted it. He wouldn't have it any other way.


	6. A Song of Sinister Intentions (Puppet)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dream is supposed to bring happiness. This is a nightmare that sings of death and revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!! LIGHT SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER!! IT ISN'T MUCH, BUT THERE IS SMUT.
> 
> Terms:  
> Bella - (Italian) - beautiful.
> 
> This chapter is based on the song "Puppet", Mary's Theme from the psychological horror game, _Ib._  
>  Please listen to the song before, during, or after reading this chapter.
> 
> Song Link:  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=989srijf4OA

A music box played softly in the pitch black room; the tiny keys daintily created a simple yet beautiful melody that you've sworn that you've heard before.

_Welcome to my world that's painted with sadness._

The miniature glockenspiel-like keys seemed to sing. To your surprise, the stifling darkness allowed the sound to echo and resonate throughout the dream and surrounded you with its tone.

_There's no light of sun. There you can't hear any sound at all._

A door creaking open temporarily interrupted the song. A red faceless figure walked in and held out a hand, as if he were asking you to dance. The song resumed after the creature had made its request.

_Here I'm waiting silently for you, father._

You stood still for a moment as a piercing chill ran up your spine. Apparently, you were too hesitant for the crimson creature's liking, for you were suddenly jerked forward as if being pushed on a conveyor belt and fell into the figure's arms. The music stopped once more, only to let a maniacal cackle ring through the darkness before resuming its twinkling tune.

_Why you were so cruel to leave poor Mary alone?_

The figure's cold touch felt oddly familiar. It sent a shiver up your spine so great that it left you paralyzed for a few moments. Suddenly, the figure had developed a face; its visage a horrible smirk filled with venom and lust. It was similar to that of a crocodile, lurking through murky waters to devour unsuspecting prey. It scared — no — _horrified_ you. You could only stare at the grotesque figure, as your muscles rebuked your brain's plea for them to move and run like hell. The figure looked rather satisfied with your blank stare for he then cupped your cheeks and chuckled, "How do you find me, (Y/N)?"

_Please take me away, I desperately promise to be a good girl, to be worthy of your love._

Then you realized who this man (if you could even call him that) was.  
"Arturo..."  
Arturo bent over picked you up into his arms, peppering you with kisses. "I do love the way you say my name. Its tone is absolutely gorgeous. Just like you, _bella_ "  
It was baffling yet amusing how Arturo could change from an arrogant, impatient monster to a sweet and affectionate gentleman in a matter of moments. Oddly enough, his complex personality attracted you to him. You felt that even in your compromising position, you could change him. You would be the power couple that had been through it all but still made it. You were wrong. You couldn't change men like Arturo. He didn't even want to be changed.

"Get your fucking hands off me, Arturo! I'm sick of your shit!" You barked sternly, punching his surprisingly solid body. He seemed to be amused by your newfound courage, for the figure laughed hysterically and cooed, "How cute. (Y/N)'s finally sober enough to land a blow. No. She couldn't be sober. If she were, she would know that speaking in such a disrespectful tone would lead to serious consequences."

Before you could comprehend what was going on, you felt a cold hand slipping off your ash gray nightgown and vine-like fingers walk their way up your thighs. You squirmed, not wanting this man to touch you ever again for the rest of your days on this earth, but Arturo had other plans in mind.  
"You're wet. I knew you still wanted me. Deep in that sickeningly sweet heart of yours." He giggled in between your legs, sending vibrations that made you moan involuntarily. Your brain's danger signals were going into overdrive, but your body once more rejected the mind's will to defend yourself. Instead, your body melted into the carnal warmth that had been craving subconsciously. He made you feel like you were on cloud nine, but deep down, you weren't enjoying this at all. You felt ultimately betrayed, looking down at the man eating you out ravenously. Gross, sloppy sounds drowned out the twinkling music-box and your felt that all too familiar feeling of fear, shame, and helplessness wash over you.  
Arturo's rough tongue plunged in and out of you, only to slide back into his own mouth and groan in agitation.

"It's time for you to wake up. A shame, too. Daddy was going to really have fun with his kitten. Oh well. I suppose later tonight will have to do." He smiled into your neck, kissing it in between his words. 

You visibly relaxed and sighed in relief before Arturo cut you off and snapped you out of your temporary euphoria.

"Seven o'clock. Tonight. Don't be late if you want to keep your 'Curly Fry' intact."

A horrid laugh filled the dream as you collapsed on the floor and shivered in horror, defeat, and anguish. You thought that you had escaped his wrath. You thought that you were free. You thought that you would finally sleep peacefully, without worrying about him taking his anger out on you for everything that had gone wrong in his life. You were wrong.

_Don't be late if you want to keep your Curly Fry intact._

It was crazy, right? This was a nightmare. This Arturo wasn't real, right? Besides, he was locked away in a cell, having his freedom taken away in exchange for taking yours and that of many other women. But deep down, you knew that he always had a way of returning. You had learned that from several attempts at running away, only to get so far and be caught and punished on the spot. Arturo always had a way of returning. Whether you liked it or not.


	7. Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short filler chapter to lead up to the main events.

Your violent shivering roused you into awareness the next morning. Danny was still snoozing on a couch nearby as a wave of sincere fear flowed over your thoughts. You couldn't lose him again. You'd _die_ before that happened.

"Danny. I'm so sorry."

That was all you could manage to whisper before finding some paper and writing a note. You signed it and left it on the coffee table, took a shower, and headed out the door with a frown.

Danny soon woke to find an empty couch with a neatly folded blanket gracing the cushions. He snapped up in alarm, a sensation of panic flooding his thoughts.

_Calm down, Danny. Maybe she went to the bathroom. People do that in the mornings, right?_

To his dismay, you weren't there, but there was fog on the mirror with a message written on it.

_...On the coffee table_ The mirror read. Half the original message had faded away, but that's all Danny needed to dash to the note as quickly as his spider-like legs would take him. Despite the sheer panic he felt, the brunette managed to smile at your unique penmanship scribbled carefully on the page. The smile faded as soon as he began to read.

_Danny,_

_He's coming back for me. I know he is. He said that he'll hurt you if I stay with you any longer, and I know he's crazy enough to do it. I don't want to have your pain weighing on my conscience. That'd kill me many times over. So, instead of undergoing such severe anguish later, we have to experience a little pain now. It's a small sacrifice in exchange for your freedom. No matter how much it hurts now, it'll be alright later. I'll no longer be a burden to you and your safety. I love you. Remember that._

_\- (Y/N)_

Danny sighed deeply and turned on the TV, hoping to get his thoughts together. He couldn't search for you like this. He couldn't think straight. He was going a mile a minute. If he went to look now, he'd be doing more harm than good in this state. A woman with a serious expression greeted his eyes and the headline plastered below her jolted him.

KIDNAPPER ESCAPES FROM LOCAL PRISON

A chill ran up Danny's spine as he zeroed in on the report as the anchor recited carefully and too calmly for his liking.

_"Arturo Valentine, the kidnapper of (Y/N) (L/N) and five other women, has escaped from prison yesterday. He is considered to be armed and dangerous. If you have any information on this man, please contact police immediately."_

"Baby girl.... Not again! Not again!"

Danny, haunted by your note's accuracy, put on his coat and quickly headed to the police station.


	8. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arturo's a recently uncaged beast, stalking and awaiting his chance to pounce and devour his prey. Tread carefully, dearest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for helping me out with this! I love you to the ends of the earth and back. Be sure to check out Axolotl's story, _All at Once_. It's beautifully written and so amazingly awesome! If you want to help author a chapter with me, hit me up at desidearestao3@gmail.com

"Hi there, Artie. It's nice to see you again."

A man smirked viciously. His eyes pierced into the dark cell as he toyed with the pickaxe in his hands.

"The same to you, Fennec," Arturo said curtly to the male — Fennec —, who was standing near the exit expectantly.  
"What do you want? A tip? You don't get a dime until the job is finished entirely. Understand?"  
Fennec clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Tch. What a buzzkill. Is this how you treat the man who single handedly broke through a concrete wall to get you out of a prison?"  
"If you did it by yourself, I would be rotting here having served half my life sentence." Arturo retorted, motioning towards a bottle of corrosive solvent. "You wouldn't be able to chip away at the mortar so easily if it weren't for that."  
"I can't win for losin' with you, Artie. Some things never change with you, kid." Fennec slyly chuckled.  
"It's best that things never do sometimes."

The two men found their way through the concrete tunnel and slowly crept into the new, more natural darkness. Stars shone overhead, and the moon glowed with light borrowed from its sunny counterpart. Arturo was a sucker for the cosmos. It fascinated him more than anything else could. Well, that was a lie. There was only one person who captivated him more: (Y/N). Even through the pain he inflicted on (Y/N), she still managed to be his Northern Star, guiding and giving him hope.

_Don't you ever run away from me like that again, princess. I promise I'll hurt the one who tore our relationship apart! No one ever messes with Arturo Valentine and lives to tell the tale. Just be patient, bella. I'm coming for you soon enough._

It’s not like you wanted to leave. In fact, you would have given anything just to stay like that, being able to be held in Danny’s arms the way he would. Sometimes you wondered if he was born with too much love in his heart, and that was why he cared so much about everyone around him.   
You knew this was stupid. It had to be, right? Running towards your problems couldn’t possibly be the way to solve them. They say it’s best to face your fears head on, but what if it’s those fears that have been eating at you for days? Weeks? Years? It just doesn’t end. Those fears they tell you to face sometimes can be too overwhelming. Saying to face them head on without context is like telling someone to fight a lion with nothing but a pen.  
But there’s more to your story as well. Running away from your problems is the fastest way right back to where you started, after all. You learned this the hard way.

 

_“Shh, baby girl.”_

 

Oh, but what you would give to relive those moments with Danny again. The few brief hours that you had felt the warmth of him, innocently holding you with the sweetest words. Everything he said had filled you up just a little more, bringing life to the drained cup of your soul.

 

_“You’re here.”_

 

It was almost like the world was moving underneath your feet, shifting and shaping around you. Like nothing existed but you and the sky above. What would happen if you did run away? Gave it all up? Cut your hair all off, dyed it a new color, took on a new name and a new face and tried again? Tried again far, far away. Moved to Spain, forgot everything that ever happened. 

 

_“You’re safe.”_

 

But you couldn’t. Never. Forgetting the legal flaws in that, you still knew; Arturo would never give up. He was the grim shadow of doom, sewn to the bottoms of your feet. You knew you could jump, and for two seconds, you were free. Soaring up, then free falling once again. But once your toes touched the ground once more, he was back, stronger to you than ever before.

 

_“He’s gone now.”_

 

If only that were true. You should have known better. He was never really gone, but just… Absent, you guess would be the right word. A leech that had been filled momentarily.

 

_“He’s gone forever.”_

 

You hated the fact that Dan’s words wouldn’t leave your head as you kept a steady pace along the roads. Everything felt so surreal at the moment, like a dream. Maybe that’s what it had all been, just a dream. Waking up with Dan watching over you like a guardian angel was a fallacy, and the tears shed over the fact that happiness was within reach was all a pitiful lie.

 

_“I know it hurts.”_

 

My walking came to a sudden halt as I realized; I was here. This was where I was supposed to go. Soon, it’d all be over. Either Arturo would finish what he started that night at the club, or it would be more years of torment, hands on trembling bodies, and subdued screaming. 

 

_“It’s gonna be okay.”_

 

But if it kept Dan safe… That was all I needed. I would not let anyone get hurt for my well being again. If this sacrifice would stop someone, anyone, from getting hurt, it had to be one I was willing to make.  
I stepped forwards, and I could almost feel his eyes on me. Like he was already trying to rip me open with a simple gaze. But this time, I told myself, I had to stand strong. I had to hold my ground, even if it was for just a few brief moments. Even the smallest show of strength might be enough to crack the wall, for all I knew.   
I looked up, meeting his cold gaze with mine. He smiled, some sort of strange and deceitful love showing up in the glint of his teeth. I wanted to scream, to ask him, “How dare you take this away from me again? How dare you smile at me like this?” but words failed me. He spoke, the voice sending chills up my spine, weakening my defense in mere seconds.

 

_“I missed you, bella.”_


	9. Yonjuunana (ヨンジュウナナ)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few flashbacks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on JubyPhonic's cover of "Yonjuunana".
> 
> Listen to it here:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY73eE8q-ss
> 
> LYRICS AND ENGLISH TRANSLATION ARE NOT MINE! THEY BELONG TO JUBY! Here's a link.
> 
> https://jubyphonics.wordpress.com/2014/08/17/yonjuunana-translyrics/

_Called to me far away, a girl much younger than the "me" of today._

"I don't feel comfortable with this..." You said meekly. Arturo's honey colored eyes seemed to gaze into your soul as you stood in front of a closed door, your limbs almost vibrating with apprehension.  
"Nobody cares if you feel comfortable or not! If anything, _his_ comfort matters. Listen, if you don't get your ass in there, that's 200 bucks going down the drain! He paid, so now it's time for you to deliver." He growled as he opened the door and roughly shoved you inside the dimly lit room.

You didn't need much light to see the shiny, metallic wrapping from a condom, a discarded bottle of lube, and a man eyeing you like the fresh meat that you were. His eyes were dark and blown wide with a sultry desire.

"This is definitely going to be worth my wife's anniversary gift..." The man seemed to hiss as he pinned you down onto the bed and began to savagely tear the lingerie that loosely covered your body.

 _I know it hurts._

 

_Dream it almost every night, and when I wake, still can’t get away_

You winced as the other woman touched your eye with a wet cloth. It was a deep maroon and swollen shut. You made a note to never interrupt Arturo while he was playing cards with his friends again.

" _I know it hurts..._ , but please stay still, (Y/N). I'm trying to make sure that it doesn't get infected." The woman patiently sighed as she got an ice pack from the freezer nearby.  
"Thanks, Julie... I just can't help it, though."  
Julie groaned, not in agitation, but in pity.  
"So young... So, so young. What is a pretty little flower like you doing in a place like this? With a man like him, huh?"  
"I...made a dumb choice. I should've never sneaked into that bar. If I hadn't, I would home with my family and Danny."  
"Who's this Danny that you keep talking about? Is he your boyfriend or something?"  
"No! He's just a friend. Besides, he's much older than I am... He's like a brother to me, actually."

Julie nodded slightly before taking out her palette of eyeshadow. She instantly began working on camouflaging the bruise. Before you knew it, she was finished and held a mirror in front of you. 

"Look at you. You're beautiful even with a black eye. You can look good through anything, (Y/N). You're one of the few girls that Arturo's dragged here that can walk through a hurricane unscathed. You're not just nice, (Y/N). You're good. You have a spirit and a heart of gold. And it takes a lot to break gold."

A tear began to roll out of your uninjured eye as you wept.

" _Shh, baby girl._ " Julie whispered as her mocha arms wrapped around you in a warm and tender embrace.

"JULIE! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW!"

_Sure, I know it’s always said that every tear will help me face what’s ahead. But I think that’s all a lie and it’ll tear you up instead._

Julie's funeral was a somber one. Thunder rumbled through the gray clouds as her casket was lowered into the ground. The other women were grieving rather loudly, but all you could do was stand there and watch as they covered your friend's lifeless body in dirt. No words. No tears. You couldn't. You were happy. Julie was free. She had served her purpose. She could finally be at peace in a perfect world with no cares or worries. She was in paradise.

Your only real regret is that the kind woman died with a black eye. The same injury that you had was inflicted upon her for trying to heal yours. An eye for an eye, you supposed. She was battered to death in one of Arturo's fits of rage. Instead of sitting in jail for his crime, however, he was casually conversing with his cohorts as if he weren't at the funeral of the woman he had just killed nights prior. You so desperately wanted to tear him limb from limb and beat him bloody. Instead of killing him quickly, you would leave in him to bleed out and die in agony. You would give him a taste of his own medicine.

_Save me..._

You wished for anyone to take you away. To kill you. Put you out of your misery.

Soon the night encroaches eating everything I can see  
Holding on, I pray to meet you even in my dreams  
Shivering and shaking like a kid left in the dark  
Could I maybe run to you and hide in your arms?

Sing it out, scream it loud, just let me shout through the pain and the doubt  
For my dreams, I’ll give my all again, don’t let me fail now  
Can I dream, can I think that if you were to be by my side  
Closing my mouth, you would hold me near and sigh

Then in the crowd was the root of it all  
That dream repeated back, now rewound and paused  
How could this-? I mean, are we meeting for real?  
With this face, how should I look or feel?  
Ripping through to grab my hand, shook just a bit and feelings ran  
This can’t really be the end, I won’t believe it, don’t leave me like this, ah

Like I said…every time…my heart is breaking into pieces again  
Tearing me up, breaking me down, all these feelings, I don’t want them  
Yeah, now I know we can never turn our clock back around  
Though I know it…I’ll…!

Grin and bear, almost there, I’ll smile even if it’s hurting to wear  
With our dream, I couldn’t let you down or lie to you, I swear  
Can I dream, can I think while I’m just so in love with you  
That our paths, no, no matter what we choose  
Won’t divide us and leave me leaving you

_It’s okay…_

No, it isn't. Stop lying to me. Stop lying to us. Stop lying to yourself, (Y/N). We're all you've got left. We will take care of you. We always have and always will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated early this time. Wow! Don't get your hopes up for the other stories, though.
> 
> Stalk me on Tumblr at Desi's Drabbles!  
> Contact me at desidearestao3@gmail.com for any collab opportunities, suggestions, requests, or questions!


	10. Into the Lion's Den

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in a mood, exhausted, and low-key suicidal. I've pushed through it all to update. Hooray?
> 
> This chapter is SMUT. I am bumping up the rating after this is posted. It isn't very good smut, but it's there. Wee.

"You're back. I knew you would come back to me, (Y/N)."  
"I didn't come back for _you_ , snake. I'm only here because of someone I have to protect. Is my bedroom still in the same place?" You replied matter-of-factly.  
" And who is this-? Never mind. It's just as you left it, princess. Not a thing touched."

These dreaded halls. They sickened you. Not even the lights spread across the place could illuminate and break through the eternally dark memories harbored inside you. Most of the doors you've passed were closed. Maybe the other women were sleeping or out on the streets. Prostitutes had to make a living somehow.

You turned the knob and pushed the door open. Arturo was right about everything being left alone. Your makeup palette sat in front of the vanity mirror, wilted roses from a client sat in a vase, and your bed was made. It was almost comforting to know that Arturo had enough respect for you to leave your things alone. That, or he had conducted a thorough search and placed everything in their respective places after he was finished. You had decided that it was the latter rather than the former.

"See? What did I tell you, hmm?" Arturo's voice seemed to grin from behind you. You jumped in response to his sudden entrance, but you refused to face his gloating features. "Come on, (Y/N), look at me. I've been missing that sweet little face of yours since you left."  
Growing annoyed with your resistance, he roughly turned your head. "Much better, love."

You were then pushed onto your bed and looked up to see the man unfasten his belt and gaze into your eyes. His honey-gold irises locked with your (E/C) ones.  
"Do you know how much grief you've put me through, mia bella? I was sitting in that prison cell scared out of my mind, wondering what had become of you. Daddy never wants his princess to be in danger like that ever again."  
The familiar feeling of a belt being tied around your wrists to the headboard made its way to the forefront as you instinctively tried to wiggle your way out of your bindings.  
"Ah, ah, ah," Arturo sang as he pushed you back down. "You're not escaping me that easily. You see, no one ever gets away from me and lives unpunished. You aren't an exception."

He then peeled off his shirt to reveal a lean but muscular physique, capable of wooing any innocent woman into submission.  
"(Y/N), I'm never letting you leave me ever again." He growled darkly as he stroked his bulge poking through his sweatpants, his hawkish eyes scanning every inch of your body. He took off your flats and unbuttoned your jeans, all whilst licking his lips hungrily. Damn it, kick him, scream. Do something! Instead, you lay there, eyes glazed and fixed on your closet door. You hated yourself for each moment you stayed still under him.

Your shirt's eyelet fabric was pulled over your head and your bra unhooked. Your breasts bounced freely from the cups. Arturo's sultry chuckle could be head from above you.  
"Mmm.... (Y/N), you're so fucking gorgeous. This is why you're my favorite."  
He kissed the soft skin along your chest and bit your nipples gently. As he did so, Arturo was grinding against your area and creating a bit of friction that elicited a small, throaty moan from your vocal cords. "I see you've missed me too."

You didn't miss him. You wished you could untie yourself and strangle the life out of him. Watch him suffocate on his own bile, gasp for sweet oxygen. See his eyes bulge as his face slowly turns blue. Your hands closing in on his windpipe and crush his esophagus. You were thrown out of your reverie by the feeling of thorns tearing into your body. Arturo had entered you while you weren't paying attention. His impatient and hungry thrusts made you sick. They had no rhythm, similar to a small child incessantly banging on a drum. He didn't come close to how Danny felt.

_Danny._

He was the epitome of pleasure. Your thoughts instantly went back to one night at his apartment.  
Danny's thin fingers ghosted against your taut skin, tracing the outline of your curves, as if you were a mythical being that could disappear if he did anything wrong. 

"Are you sure, baby girl? I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to do this. I want you to be comfortable. I don't-"  
"Danny. Stop it. I'm the one who asked."  
"Yeah, but-"  
"Daniel, I want you to erase every trace of him that's left inside me. Do you understand? Make me yours."  
With that, after Danny had prepped your wet sex, he lined his throbbing erection with your entrance. You whimpered in response to Danny's warm tip lightly came in contact with the cluster of nerves resting just above your slit. He was teasing you, but there was more apprehension than mischief behind his actions. In the dim light, you saw Dan lift his thin and toned body up and reach for a hair tie on the bedside and pull his curly locks into a messy ponytail. 

"Relax, baby girl. I'm gonna take good care of you. I promise." Danny whispered into your ear before planting a delicate kiss on your neck.  
"I trust you..."

As soon as the words escaped your lips, Danny skillfully entered. His length was slowly submerged into your slick and cavernous depths. You closed your eyes and hummed satisfyingly. God, he was perfect. His strokes made you feel like puzzle pieces were being put together; a snug and tight fit, but not forced. It was absolute bliss. You arched your back and gripped the sheets as Danny picked up the pace, finding a groove perfect for both of you. It seemed as if your command to rid you of anything Arturo had left released all of his inhibitions, and he focused solely on making sure his baby girl was having the time of her life.

The soft glimmer of sweat painting Danny's naked body in the moonlight almost made him look ethereal. The coils his ponytail didn't catch bounced against his forehead almost gleefully as the man let out a deep and guttural growl filled with passion and lust. Your nails dug into his pale skin while you wrapped your legs around his waist. This new angle caused shockwaves of pleasure to overcome your every process. Swears were freely thrown about as Danny called your name in a frenzy of moaning and carnal snarls.

"Danny! I'm gonna-" You yelped as he rocked himself into your core, flooding your brain with absolute bliss. He had found your spot and was working into it so expertly, you could have sworn stars made their way into your vision.  
"Fuck, (Y/N)! I'm so damn close!"

You bucked your hips, only to find Danny's hips stuttering as he reached his peak. Hot seed was shot into your system before your own orgasm came like a freight train. Danny's cum flowed to your womb slowly, its journey warm and soothing to you. Danny's heavy panting and a satisfied chuckle rose goosebumps along your (S/C) skin.  
"Damn, (Y/N)... You're absolutely amazing, you know that? Everything about you is flawless."  
Your hand reached for Danny's wild locks and played with the naturally intricate curls. "You weren't too bad yourself. I can definitely see why you call yourself 'Sexbang'."  
He removed your hand from his hair and kissed it tenderly. He was treating you like the princess you were to him. That, in itself, sent you in a fit of weeping.

"Baby girl? What's wrong? Don't cry like that. Please, tell me." Danny's sensual purrs instantly changed into a frantic and worried tone.  
"It's just that everything is so perfect. I feel like I'm just going to be ripped away from this any moment now. It all seems too good to be true."  
"No, no. Don't think like that. You're here with me now, baby. You're here to stay, understand? I'm going to protect you. _I promise._ "

 

A blast of icy cold shocked your system. Arturo's clenched jaw tightened as he gave one final thrust, releasing his own semen into you. His cum felt like shards of ice forcefully slicing their way through you. 

"Ah~. Damn, (Y/N). You still haven't lost your spark. Good girl."

Arturo then untied your wrists and put his clothes back on. His zipper broke the eerie silence in your head and in the bedroom.  
"Go shower. You're being put back to work as soon as you're finished. Don't take too long, or you'll have another black eye. Julie won't be here to clean you up, either."

Your blood boiled when he mentioned your late friend. How dare he? The nerve! You robotically got up and headed toward the showers. Cold water chilled your sore and aching body. Then, you felt warmer water fall down your cheeks. The sounds of the shower muffled your sobbing and ached for Danny's warm embrace, Julie's comforting words and corny puns, even Chica's dog kisses when Mark brought her over to the apartment that one time. You longed for anything that made you feel loved and appreciated. 

Instead, you got the cat calls of dirty perverts and cigarette smoke blown in your face by the other women. The dark Los Angeles strip tore you down every minute you stood on that corner, selling your body to anyone who had the cash. A car pulled up in front of you and the driver rolled down his window.  
"Get in and be quiet."

You obeyed and yawned nonchalantly. "What'll it be? I can give you a good time for a couple hundred. Now, what-" A lump the size of a goose egg formed in your throat as the pulled away his dark hood to reveal a curly mane under the streetlights.  
"(Y/N), you're safe now. You'll never have to sell yourself ever again. We're leaving this hellhole. We're leaving together."

Danny had picked you up. God, you were ecstatic. He came to rescue you from being someone's conquest. You didn't hear what he said, you were so happy. 

"Thank you. So much..."


	11. Welcoming Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Canada!

You woke up a few weeks later with a start. Your stomach tossed and turned as you slithered your way from under Danny's grasp. You made your way to the bathroom just in time to vomit into the toilet. Over the retching, you could hear Danny's frantic footsteps against the linoleum floor.

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)?! Are you okay, babe?" 

You nodded your head slightly as you slowly and stiffly got up to flush the toilet. The icy taste of mouthwash tickled your taste buds and scrubbed the sour and acidic flavor of vomit away. Your body ached with every subtle movement, and you felt like collapsing in Danny's arms.

"Something's _definitely_ wrong here. Do you feel well enough to go to the emergency room, babe?" Danny's voice wavered in concern.  
"I feel somewhat better. I may be strong enough to go, but I doubt that I will be for long."

Dan nodded and fetched your thick winter coat and boots before carefully putting them on over your pajamas. You soon felt one of Dan's scarves around your neck and your wool beanie placed on your head. Dan then bundled himself up and retrieved a bottle of ginger ale to settle your stomach until you reached the hospital.

"How are you feeling now, (Y/N)? Is your stomach okay?"  
You gave him the "so-so" hand gesture even though a wave of nausea rolled over you. The ache was horrid as you shivered through the Canadian chill (or rather the chills your body was producing). The rhythmic tick of the turn signals gave you a distraction from feeling ill. You took a sip of the ginger ale and sighed as the bubbly ginger drink neutralized your stomach acids.  
Dan looked in the rearview mirror and grimaced when he saw you curl up pitifully in the backseat with your hands clutching your abdomen. His brows furrowed in annoyance as the male realized how much he still had to travel until he reached the hospital.  
“We’re almost there, baby girl. Can you hold on a bit longer?” Danny asked while turning into another intersection.  
You assessed your stomach and shook your head. Danny made an abrupt halt that made your insides lurch. You quickly grabbed the bucket Dan had thought to get and hurled into it. You felt weak and cold as more fluids suddenly left your system. A whimper escaped your vocal cords as you curled deeper into yourself.

After what seemed like eons, you and Danny had finally reached the hospital. The brunette quickly hopped out of the car to check you in. You reached for the bottle of ginger ale, and to your dismay, you had found that you had drank it all in your frenzy to settle your stomach.  
“Hey, (Y/N). You’re checked in. Let’s get you inside and get you out of the cold, yeah?” Before you could utter a response, Danny had carefully moved the bucket out of the way and gently got you out of the backseat. As you passed the front desk, you could see the receptionist’s eyes widen at Dan carrying you into the waiting area bridal style. His hands supported your neck and legs as you lay limp and relaxed in his arms.  
Faint whispers could be heard across the room, probably criticizing you and Danny for your “grand entrance”. Even though you were ill, you looked around awkwardly and shifted your gaze towards Dan who was stroking your (H/C) hair soothingly.  
“Dan, I’m so sorry. I’m not being dramatic, I really do feel horrible. Please don’t think I-“  
“Hush. I know you don’t feel well, babe. You’re weak and exhausted right now. Anyone who has been nauseous puking her guts out since she woke up would be. Relax, okay? These people who think that me taking care of you is just for theatrics can go suck it.” Dan’s voice was soft and compassionate, but it grew stern when he mentioned the patients’ immaturity.  
Too tired to say more, you fell asleep in Dan’s arms. You felt safe with him, something that you couldn’t say with a lot of people. While others used and manipulated you, Danny was here for you one hundred percent. Danny always put you before himself, and that scared you sometimes. He was willing to protect you at all costs because you were you. You are his cherished. And somehow, you were deemed worthy of having him.

“Avidan! (L/N)!”  
Through your groggy state, you felt Dan shift and you moaned in slight annoyance. The man chuckled softly and smiled.  
“Come on, baby. They called us. You’ve gotta wake up, alright?”  
You nodded and rubbed your eyes as you slowly got up. Your stiff muscles ached while you made your way to triage. The nurse smiled kindly as she got you on the scale. After you were weighed, you sat in a chair and waited to get your blood pressure checked.  
“So, what brings you in today?” The nurse asked as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around your arm.  
You explained and described the sudden and extreme nausea, the chills, weakness, and overall lethargy to the woman. She nodded and hung on your every word while she entered information into her computer. The monitor beeped and the cuff began to deflate around your arm. Blood resumed its regular circulation throughout your body as the nurse finished up her notes.  
“Alright, I have everything I need. If you would just follow me, I’ll take you to your room.”  
You and Dan were directed to the hospital room. It was small, clearly meant for temporary patients or patients in transition with the bed facing a TV. Reruns of old westerns were playing on mute as you got on the bed. The paper bedsheet crinkled as you applied your weight onto it and relaxed your aching muscles.  
“How are you holding up, (Y/N)? Feel queasy?” Dan asked.  
You shook your head and sighed. “It’s getting better. The nausea has subsided, at least for now.”  
Dan smiled hopefully and nodded. “At least there’s progress.”

After a few small conversations, the doctor arrived with your charts in his hand.  
“Hello there. I’m Doctor Geisel and I’ll be your doctor for today. What seems to be the problem?”  
This time, Danny took up the responsibility of explaining your ailment to the physician. He nodded understandingly, scrawled a few more notes, and continued to listen to Danny.  
“I have some questions to ask you if that’s okay, Miss (L/N).”  
“Go ahead.”  
Doctor Geisel adjusted his stethoscope and looked flipped through your charts one last time before he looked to you.  
“Have you undergone any major surgeries?”  
“No.”  
“Are you allergic to any medicines?”  
“Not that I’m aware of.”  
The doctor hummed a tune while he checked off and wrote down your answers.  
“Now, are you sexually active?”  
You choked on your own spit, and in the corner of your eye, you could see a blush and smug grin play on Danny’s face.  
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. When was your last period, Miss (L/N)?”  
You blinked and suddenly felt stupid. You were so busy with the move from LA to Ontario, you didn’t think about your period. You wanted to escape the Los Angeles streets and become a new person, restart in a new country. Something as seemingly routine and mundane as your cycle didn’t even occur to you.  
“I honestly don’t remember, it’s been a while, though.”  
Danny looked concerned when he heard your response. You could see the gears turning through his dark optics as he processed the information you had given the doctor.  
“We’ll have to do some bloodwork. I’ll request for your blood to be drawn. In the meantime, you can relax here. If you begin to feel sick again, just buzz the nurse and try to make it to the toilet. If you can’t do that, there are bags near the sink.”  
You and Danny nodded as Dr. Geisel left the room. An awkward silence plagued the area while Danny slumped in the chair, deep in thought. You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing would come. The second hand ticked loudly in comparison to the muted room.  
“(Y/N), I-“ Danny began  
“No matter what the results are, I’ll be okay.”  
“I know you’ll be alright, but I just wanted to say that I’ll always be here for you. I love you, and I would never dream of leaving you. Relax. You don’t have to worry.”  
“Thank you so much.”  
Danny smiled warmly and placed a tender kiss on your lips. Through locked lips, you let go of all the stresses and anxieties harbored inside you. For a moment, the world stopped and only you and the man in front of you mattered.  
Suddenly, a nurse came in with her cart of vials and needles. Upon seeing you and Dan attached at the lips, she coughed awkwardly.  
“I’m Nurse McKinley. I’ll be drawing your blood.”  
Both of your faces flushed a deep red as you parted to let the nurse do her job.  
“We’re so sorry. We didn’t mean to be so unprofessional.” Danny apologized.  
“You’re okay. Trust me, I’ve walked in on much worse than two people kissing. Can you hand me your arm, Miss (L/N)?”  
You extended your arm and the nurse proceeded to sterilize and prep your veins. Soon, she was finished and a gauze was taped to the punctured area.  
“All done. I’ll be back as soon as I’ve got the results from the lab.” Nurse McKinley chimed.  
The door closed shut behind her and the room was filled with silence once more. This time, it wasn’t awkward. Instead, it was thoughtful and almost anxious.  
“(Y/N), what are you thinking about, baby girl?” Danny’s smooth voice inquired through the silence.  
“Ah, nothing much. I’m just waiting on the results. That’s all I can do at this point.”  
The clock ticked on and on, seemingly torturing you with each of the second hand’s subtle movements. Finally, Doctor Geisel entered the room with an unreadable expression on his face. He held his clipboard with your charts and lab results close to his chest.  
“Hey, doc. Is everything okay?” You and Danny asked simultaneously.  
“This can either good news or bad news. Either way, I want you to think about it and explore _all_ of your options.”  
Dan began to grow irritated with the doctor’s vague response and his reply came off more harsh and venomous than he would have liked, but who could blame him? He basically held your fate in his hands. “Please don’t prolong this. Tell us what’s going on.”

Geisel cleared his throat and flipped through the papers.  
“Congratulations, you two. It seems that Miss (L/N) here is pregnant.”  
You felt like throwing up again. Pregnant? You? Your mind was cluttered with the clashing feelings of joy, fear, confusion, and happiness. All you could do at that point was cry.  
“I’ll get your discharge papers arranged. After that, you’re free to go.”  
“Thank you, Dr. Geisel. We appreciate everything.”  
The doctor nodded and closed the door behind him. You then felt Danny’s warm and comforting arms wrap around you and a soft kiss land on your hair.  
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. You should be happy. We’re going to be parents. Shh, it’s alright, babe. It’ll be okay. I’ve got you now. You’re going to be the best mother the world has ever seen, okay?”  
“Danny, I don’t think I can do this. I’m not good enough. I can’t raise a kid. I’ll ruin it.” You rambled on and on until a finger blocked your lips.

“(Y/N) (L/N), listen to me. You aren’t going to ruin anything or anyone. You are amazing, and the best possible person to be a parent. And if love and support is what you’re worried about, then stop. I will be here for you because I love you. Understand? I love you and this baby will love you too.”

Before you could respond, another kiss graced your lips and you felt calmer. You relaxed a bit and the fog in your head cleared for a moment. Danny was your lighthouse in the middle of a tempest. You loved him and he loved you. That was all that mattered now.  
“Baby, thank you. Thank you.” You said as you hugged Dan tightly.  
“Let’s go home, okay?”

On the other side of the door, unbeknownst to you both, a woman stood that would jeopardize the new life growing inside of you.  
“Hey, boss. You aren’t going to believe this. I found them, and she’s got a little welcoming gift with her.”  
Arturo chuckled on the other end.  
“Is that so? How interesting. I’m coming soon enough. Don’t let her out of my sight, or you’ll never see the light of day again, got it?”  
The woman gulped fearfully and looked around. “I understand. I won’t let you down.”


	12. What Makes Him Tick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An obsessive mind is a complicated thing to describe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOOOO!!! Thanks again to axolotlNerd for helping me write!! You are best friend for this. I love you! we

//Arturo's POV//  
A surprised squeal could be heard from outside my bedroom door. The hole I had just punched in the wall was gaping just like the void I felt in my heart for (Y/N).

"Hey, Artie... Is everything alright in there?"

I turned to see Delia, a bleach blonde with fair skin peek through the doorway.

"No. I'm not okay. She's gone. She's gone with some asshole's kid."

Delia quirked a brow. "A kid? Like step kid, adopted...?"

"She's pregnant, Delia. Damn it..."  
Delia walked into the room fully, shutting the door. She carefully placed a hand on her hip, observing me.

"How many weeks? Do you know?" She said. Thought her southern accent had been strong when I first got her, it had since faded. It now mainly only peaked when she was being a smart-ass like this.

"Probably somewhere around 12. But what does it matter?" I sighed, sitting down on the bed as I brushed a hand through my hair. This stress would surely kill me someday, but for now, it had just grayed the roots of my hair a bit too early.

"Of course it matters, Artie!" She said. I looked up to her, confused and glaring at her tone. "Don't you remember where she _was_ three weeks ago? Or is your memory shot?"

I stuttered for a moment, mouth opening and closing like a fish as she waited for an answer.

"Where was she 12 weeks ago, Artie?" She prompted again. 

"She was here."

"And that means...?" 

I stared at her for a moment, incredulous. "You don't really think-" I stopped myself short, shock bubbling up in my stomach as my heart pounded. Delia smiled. 

"Well, now I guess it's just time for you to decide what you're gonna let her do with your kid." She walked a bit closer. "Now, is there anything else you need before I go?"

I shook my head. "No. Now go, I need to evaluate my options."  
"Are you sure that there isn't anything else I can help you with? I have a feeling that you're stressed out about this whole ordeal." Delia purred as she swayed across the room. Her fingers ghosted along my tensing shoulders.

"I see you made a hole in the wall. Sad to say it, dear, but that isn't the hole you should be fisting..."

"Leave now while I still have some patience. I have important business to attend to."

Her footsteps were getting quieter and quieter as she exited the bedroom. Finally, the door closed and I was left to plan.

This had to be absolutely foolproof. Nothing could impede my mission to get her back. She's mine. She's mine and mine alone. Anyone who fails to realize that will pay.

While in thought, I found myself reaching for my phone. My fingers instantly dialed Misty's number. The ring was agonizing as I waited for her to answer.

"Yeah? Talk to me."

"Where is she?" I asked coolly. I couldn't reveal to anyone how frantic I really was.

"She left the hospital half an hour ago with this tall, twiggy guy. I swear his hair is a bird's nest..."

"Stay on topic."

Misty groaned in annoyance and shifted the phone.

"She's here in a cabin-like house. Roomy. Nice-looking refrigerator... Oh look. It dispenses crushed ice. That's pretty nifty-"

"Get to the point. Can you give me an address or anything?"

"I can't see the street number from here. They're too faded. They live on Rainland Drive."

"Good work. I'll look into it. Is there anything else, Misty?"

"Yeah. A question. What do you see in this slut anyway? What makes her so special?"  
"That's _not your place_ to ask!" I snapped, feeling the venom in my voice as I yelled it into the receiver.  
Who did she think she was? These were my orders to her, she has no right to impose on-

"Chill. I figured since I'm doing this espionage shit for you, I should at least know why."

I sighed in response. "Listen, I'll tell you later. For now just keep an eye on her. And, under absolutely no circumstances, lose sight of her. Got it?" 

"Yep. Oh, and one more thing-" She started. "Try not to get yourself killed out there, yeah?"

I nodded, regardless of the fact she couldn't hear me. "Yeah, okay. Update me if anything happens. Bye."  
"Aye, captain."

The conversation ended with a soft beep. I stretched my tensing joints and left my phone to charge in case Misty or anyone else called with more information.

"Well, well, well... Seems like Mr. Valentine is worried about something. Maybe it's because Little Bo Peep has lost one of his sheep... Again."

I clenched my fist once the condescending voice reach my ears.

"Fennec. Nice to see you again. What can I do for you?"

The fox-faced man put a finger to his pierced lip and smirked devilishly.

"Artie, pal, you can drop the act. It's not like anyone else important is here."

I rolled eyes and walked outside, towards my office. Fennec naturally followed me to room overlooking the main LA strip.

"Now what do you want? I don't have all day." I asked stoically. 

"I just wanted to visit and see how you've been holdin' up, kid. Nothing's wrong with that. But... It seems that you have a fiasco on your hands. What's the issue?"

"She's gone. And she's pregnant with my child."

Fennec's green eyes widened with surprise and amusement. 

"Will you look at this? Artie is gonna be a parent. Who'd have thought? Now you're gonna have someone else to call you 'daddy'."

I slammed my fist on the cherry wood desk.

"It's not all about sex, Fennec. This is so much more! This is my kid and my girlfriend you're talking about!"

Fennec choked on his own spit. "Y-your what? Girlfriend? If everything whore here were your 'girlfriend', you'd have at least 30."

I sighed deeply and looked out the window with my hands behind my back. How could I lose my cool like that? Especially to Fen of all people. 

"Whatever you say. If you don't have any ideas that can help me find (Y/N), get out." I growled darkly.

"Yeah. I've got one. Why don't you put out a lost dog flyer? She was always your pet, right?" Fen replied with a sly chuckle.

"OUT! COME BACK WHEN YOU ARE OF USE TO ME." 

Fennec rolled his eyes once more and left the office.

"What am I gonna do?"  
I sighed, beginning to think. Pacing, thinking. Pulling out papers, thinking. Laying them all out before me, thinking. Because every moment I might not be thinking might be the moment something would have come to me, if only I had been paying attention.

But there it was. Everything I need, all laid out before me. Everything I knew, needed to know, written down. So I began again, writing down everything new.

My child. I had a child. How could I use this to my advantage?  
Then it came to me. If I have the child, then (Y/N) will naturally fall into my arms. Perfect. Now, how am I supposed to do that?

I groaned and leaned back into the chair. Nervous energy began to consume my every process. Desperate for something to do or hold, I pulled out one of my desk drawers, and then... Then I found a little trinket of my (Y/N). 

Her lipstick. Warm Cayenne #6. It accentuated her lips perfectly. With it, her kisses seemed softer and warmer. It was like the color was just for her. Fuck, I loved it. I remember going to the mirror in the mornings and feeling sad that I had washed away her kisses from my body. It was perfect.

Like her. I had to have her. If no one else, I had to have /her/. I was slowly dissolving into madness without her being near me. It was making me furious that she was with someone else. How dare he take my precious (Y/N) away?!  
I gripped my hair, pulling at it and trying to concentrate. I wouldn’t be able to think straight like this, I could never be rational if i just kept obsessing over the person she was with now. No, I had to get her back to me.  
But how? How could I get this child into my arms? Once I had it, (Y/N) would surely follow. But how could I possibly get it with me in the first place?  
I honestly didn’t know. I couldn’t demand custody, I was a criminal, I couldn’t go to court. Of course, I could always just take the kid. But how could I do that?  
One thing was for sure; when I got her back, she would have to be mine, and solely mine. Having her out there with all the other girls would be dangerous, she could run off again or someone could take her. She would have to be mine. Forever.


	13. Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short fluffy chapter.

You woke the next morning to the sweet scent of pancake batter cooking on a griddle. The sun shone softly on the white sheets as you shifted out of bed. You assessed your stomach and hummed with surprise at the fact that you didn't make a mad dash for the bathroom when the aroma hit your nostrils. Maybe the baby loves pancakes as much as you do. You chuckled quietly to yourself and began to shed last night’s pajamas, consisting of one of Danny’s T-shirts and a pair of panties before stepping into the shower.

Warm water cascaded down your (S/C) skin. You let out a relaxed sigh as you washed away the previous day’s dirt and grime with a bar of lemon scented soap. The soft cloth easily glided down each curve your body possessed and you smirked once you felt the small, hard bump that signified the life growing inside you.

“Good morning, kiddo. Even though you can't hear a single word I'm saying, I'll speak anyway. I'm your mom, as you probably already know, and I just wanted to say that you mean a lot to me, even though you are the size of a bean. Your dad and I will do everything in our power to protect you. I mean it.” 

You awkwardly combed your fingers through your hair and paused for a moment to imagine what life would be like with a miniature you or Danny around…or maybe a tiny Arturo… You shook your head violently as if your brain were an Etch-a-Sketch that erased unwanted images when shaken.

“Anyway, I didn't mean to hold you for long. Go do your important fetal cell division stuff that you're so good at. I love you so much, kid. Bye.”

With that, you washed your hair and continued with your shower. A warm towel was wrapped around your frame as you approached the bathroom mirror to brush your teeth. Ironically, that's when the morning sickness kicked in. The strong minty scent of your toothpaste proved to be too much and you huddled over the toilet bowl, emptying out everything your stomach had. (Which was probably nothing.) After you recovered from your nausea, you opened the cabinet hiding behind your bathroom mirror and pulled a cinnamon flavored toothpaste out. Hopefully, the scent wouldn't be as vomit-inducing and you could brush away the acidic substance from your teeth. Thankfully, your idea worked and you went to work brushing away the pesky plaque that threatened to stain your teeth.

After your bathroom adventure, you slipped on some underwear and a comfortable white dress that you could wear around the house. The sound of frying eggs, sizzling pancakes, and bacon was music to your ears as you descended the staircase on the way to the kitchen. Danny’s brunette mop of hair could be seen moving back and forth as he busied himself with preparing breakfast.

“Morning, Dan.” You greeted him sweetly as you hugged him from behind.  
“And good morning to you, Babies One and Two. How is my favorite person and person in progress doing?”

You chuckled and released Danny from your hug before pulling out a chair and sitting to the table.

“We’re doing just fine. Thank you for asking.”

Danny nodded and began to turn the stove and griddle off. He pulled out dishes from the cupboard and placed the eggs, bacon, and a neat stack of pancakes on them.

“For you, _mademoiselle_. Hon, hon, hon.” Danny poked in an exaggerated French accent.  
“Ah, _merci beaucoup_.”

Danny set the plate gently in front of you and began to pour you a glass of apple juice. After serving you, he set his own plate down and poured himself a glass. He then hung up his “special” apron. Originally, it read “Kiss the cook”, but Danny crossed out the second ‘O’ with a fabric marker and replaced it with a ‘C’, making it read “Kiss the _cock_ ” instead. You even drew a picture of a dick, complete with weird and spiky pubic hair for added effect. Dan didn't seem to mind.

“Are you feeling okay? Feeling sick? Experiencing labor pains?” Dan inquired.

You rolled your eyes and absentmindedly placed a hand on your abdomen.

“No, babe. I still have 24 more weeks until labor should be a concern.”  
“I'm just checking. After all, you are carrying the next heartthrob and generation of Ninja Sex Party. Think about it. Our kid could team up with Audrey and take the world by storm. It'll be Ninja Sex Party: The Second Coming.” Dan said with a dreamy look in his eyes.

You snorted and stifled a laugh.  
“The Second _Cumming_.”

Dan reached over the table and tussled your hair playfully.   
“I didn't mean it like that, (Y/N). You goof. Although, if you think about it, The Second Cumming would make sense because-“  
“Dan, I'm trying to eat. I'm sorry for starting this string of morning sex jokes. Can we have our breakfast before it gets cold?”

The man snapped out of his reverie and stuck a fork in his eggs, shoveling them into his mouth.  
“Right. Sorry, baby girl.” He muttered as he wiped traces of egg from his lips.

The rest of breakfast was quiet, the both of you enjoying the meaningful silence that filled the room. Birds twittered outside softly, adding more peace to the tranquil scene. Once you reached the bacon, however, all of that was shot to hell.

“What the hell is this?” You inquired as you held the floppy slice of meat between your fingers.  
“It's bacon, dear.” Danny replied softly.  
“No, it isn't! Bacon is strips of salty perfection that crunches satisfyingly between your teeth. This,” You pointed accusingly at the meat. “This is just ham!”  
“This is Canada, babe. Bacon is different here.”

You folded your arms and huffed.  
“You should've packed American bacon, Daniel.”  
“It would've spoiled on our way here. Besides, who brings bacon through baggage claim?”  
“A man who loves his pregnant girlfriend.”

Danny lifted his hands in defeat.  
“That's true, but I love her enough to keep her from eating spoiled food.”

Dan smiled and stood up and walked over to you. His long arms wrapped around you and you felt his breath tickle your neck.  
“God, I love you so much, (Y/N). I swear I will do everything I can for you and the baby.”  
“Anything?” You put a finger to your lips. “In that case, can you get me more pancakes?”

Dan smirked and took your plate. “If that is what my lady desires, I shall retrieve the cakes of pan!”  
“Thank you, baby.”

You relaxed in your chair with a smile. Today was going to be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy belated birthday to me?


	14. Checkmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tick, tick, tick

_Tick, tick, tick_

The clock continued its endless cycle around the Roman numerals on its face. The speedy second hand seemed to move slower than my thoughts as I calculated my every move. Retrieving (Y/N) and my child would be a hard task with my criminal record and that sorry excuse for a man by her side like a guard dog. I had to think of this like a game of chess, which is why I had chess pieces organized on my desk.

(Y/N) was the queen, but she was captured by Twiggy and hogging her love and my child all for himself. Some saint he is. Usually, this meant that the game is almost over; the opposing side has technically already won, but I still stand. I have to find a way a finesse this game without causing too much fuss. I took a sip of wine to wet my lips and stared intently at (Y/N)’s piece. It's funny how the queen is the most powerful piece in the game. Everyone wants to take her away as soon as possible to incapacitate the other. A smart strategy, I have to admit, but it won't work out well for you.

I shifted Twiggy’s piece, the other king, over to the side for now and rested my head in my palms. Now, what do I have to do to get him out of the way? I can't kill him. The police would be after me more than they already are. More importantly, (Y/N) would hate me and make all of my hard work fruitless. I want her to love me. No, I _need_ her to _adore and worship_ me. After all, there can only be one king in this royal family, and I'm not giving up my throne just yet!

Soft giggles escaped me and they soon grew louder and more maniacal. I furiously gripped my hair and stood from my desk.

**“I just want her to love me! I just want us to be a happy family! I'm sick and tired of living in this complicated game of Cops and Robbers! I want her, and I want her now!”**

I threw the glass of wine across the room and watched the crystal glass shatter and the blood-red beverage trickle down the wall. 

“Checkmate, you insufferable brat! I'm coming soon enough, and when I do, you'll wish you were dead!”

A soft, timid knock followed my declaration and I sighed with annoyance. I opened the door to see Delia with a wad of cash in her perfectly manicured hand.

“Here's your cut, Arturo. $1,000 even.” 

I took the money and counted it myself before putting it into my safe. I stretched casually and snapped my fingers at Delia. 

“Clean that up.” I commanded, pointing to the mess of glass and wine.  
“Arturo, I've been working all night. I'm tired. I-.” Delia began  
“Did I ask if you were tired? I told you to clean the mess, and that is what I expect you to do, Delia! Now get it before the wine begins to stick!”

Begrudgingly, Delia went to prepare a mop, bucket, broom, and dustpan. Once more, I was left to my own devices. Like a hunter, I had to lay down my trap and watch my prey fall into my hands. All I had to do was wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! TWO CHAPTERS IN TWO DAYS?!?!?! Witchcraft!


	15. Songbird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puns and peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a longer chapter for the wait. I hope you enjoy.

“No, no. That isn't right. It sounds out of tune.”  
Danny pressed his fingers against the neck of his guitar and strummed a soft chord. He adjusted the tuning knobs and played once more, still not satisfied with the instrument’s pitch. As he fumbled through the various chords, eventually going up the chromatic scale, you tucked yourself in a beanbag chair nestled in a corner.

“It sounds sharp, dude. Let me see.” You stated as you got up and held your hand out to receive the guitar.  
Dan smirked and handed over the stringed instrument. “Alright. _you_ try.”

You wrapped the guitar strap around you and fiddled with the strings. Afterwards, you gently slid the pick across the strings and played. Instead of a rich and resonant sound, the chord seemed forced and strained. You twisted the tuning knobs to find them tightly twisted into the guitar.

“The knobs are _way_ too tight. That's more than likely why your chords are sharp, babe.”  
A thoughtful look appeared on Dan’s face as you gave your diagnosis. You then sang a C and played along with it, surprised that you were this in tune without warming up first. After a bit of slight adjusting, the guitar was tuned and regained its silky resonance.

“There you go. I think your string thing is fixed.”

Instead of replying with a “thank you” or playfully criticizing your calling his guitar a “string thing”, Dan sat there mesmerized.

“It's been so long since I've heard you sing. Even if it’s just one note, your voice fills me with happiness. Why don't you sing more often, (Y/N)?” Dan asked.  
You blushed and looked away. Why were you so nervous all of a sudden? You cleared your throat and prepared to answer.  
“I-I guess that I didn't have a reason to sing. Ever since… _he_ came into the picture, there was nothing to sing about. Singing, for me anyway, is only reserved for happy or peaceful moments. Every day with him was a step closer into the very depths of the abyss.”

You weren't aware of it, but tears were falling down your cheeks. Danny had his arms wrapped around your body and kissed your forehead lovingly.  
“I know that this doesn't cut it, but I'm so sorry that happened to you. Just know that he's gone now. He won't find us here. Don't cry, baby girl. Everything is okay. I'm right here. Shh.” 

You were beginning to dive deeper and deeper into a panic attack. Tears streamed down your face as Dan tried to comfort you back into reality. Honestly, you were deaf to your boyfriend’s soft words as you began to shiver in response to the horrid memories that plagued your mind. Then, once you reached your darkest point, you remembered something.

_He’s here. I'm not afraid. I have to be strong for the baby. Even when I'm by myself, I'm not alone. I'm okay._

As if pleased by your strength and your recovery, a small fluttering feeling rose in your abdomen. Danny must’ve felt it too because he sat there in awe with his hands on your stomach.  
“Is that what I think it is? Did the baby just kick?”

You blinked and then nodded slowly. “I think so. It feels like someone is tickling my insides with a feather.”  
Danny lifted your shirt and pressed his nose against your baby bump.  
“Hi, kiddo. It's me, your dad. You're doing such a good job growing up in there. Keep being the cool dude or dudette you are, okay? I love you.”

Danny then kissed the small rise in your belly and your baby kicked once more in response. He then put your shirt back down and placed a kiss on your lips.

“It's gonna be okay, songbird. Keep singing no matter what. The world will dance and hum along to your own melody because you're the only one who can conduct such a symphony.” Dan mused

You let out a charmed “aww” and combed your fingers through Danny’s curly mop of hair.

“You're such a music nerd. I could count on my fingers how many musical references were in that sentence.”  
Dan chuckled and kissed your jawline gently.  
“I thought that it was only fitting. I’m just impressed at how _sharp_ you were for catching my jokes.”  
“Daniel, stop it.”  
“I mean, I couldn't have let everything fall _flat_. Seeing you so upset isn't my _forte_ , baby girl.”  
“Dan, give it a _rest_. We both know that your puns are absolutely _dynamic_ , but please _tone_ it down.”

Now, it was Dan’s turn to blink as he gave you a reverent bow.  
“All hail the queen of music puns. I couldn't have done better myself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some recording to do.”

You raised a brow and turned to Danny.  
“Oh? Is that so? You haven't really thought about YouTube much since we moved to Canada. You’ve finally decided to get back into it?”  
Dan nodded. “Yup. I have to support us somehow. Besides, I’ve lost my touch. I have to get back into the _groove_.”   
“Get out.”

Danny laughed loudly and puckered his lips into a kiss. “I love you, (Y/N).”  
You shook your head and giggled. “I love you too. Now get out.”

The door was closed behind Danny and you nestled into the beanbag chair while wrapping yourself in one of the many blankets Dan had left for you. The sight of Danny’s now tuned guitar leaning on its stand, his keyboard, your shelf of art supplies adjacent to the small storage closet, and the scent of crisp maple from the trees outside soothed you as you drifted off to sleep. Rare moments of peace of like this were often fleeting, and you found yourself tensing up and anticipating the end of your relaxation, but it never came. Danny could be heard singing in the next rooms over and creating a chorus for a new song. Squirrels were seen dashing from tree branch to tree branch. You were keenly aware of the rhythmic beating of your heart as you eased yourself into dreams. Today was perfect.


	16. You’re Such a Useless Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a personal chapter for me, so it was really difficult for me to write this. Enjoy anyway....
> 
> This chapter is based on the song 君はできない子 (You’re a Useless Child) by Kikuo feat. Hatsune Miku
> 
> Here’s a link:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9LW3-oaAzQ

“You’re such a lazy child. You can’t seem to do anything productive.”

Your tears burned your eyes as you looked up at the woman you called your mother. She glared at you with ice-cold contempt while you peered upwards with nothing to offer but pitiful sobs.

“I’m… I’m sorry, mom… I’m trying to do. I really am!” You cried desperately.   
“You aren’t trying hard enough, then. People aren’t going to take pity on you, (Y/N). Not everyone is going to look at the fact that you’re a child. People are going to use and abuse you, and I’m going to be the one who has to pick up the pieces.”

You felt guilty as you lay in your bed. You had the audacity to sleep while your mother was working herself to death in the next room over. 

“I’m sorry. I… I’m just so tired! I’m exhausted when I get home from school!”  
“And I am exhausted when I get home from work, but unlike you, I don’t rest! I keep pushing to take care of you while all you do is sleep and look like you’re brain dead all day long!”

To prove to your mother that you worked just as hard as she did, you had nights where you didn’t sleep a wink, studying to get good grades, finish homework, and finish projects. And even through those sleepless nights, you managed to stay awake and work hard at school. 

You even took up marching band, and even though you thoroughly enjoyed it, it was a sport that required as much mental endurance as it did physical. You were succumbed to afternoons in the harsh sun, carrying around an instrument that grew heavier and heavier. A director was constantly barking orders atop a high tower and refusing you water until the forms and reps were perfect. That would take place every Tuesday and Thursday for four to five hours, depending on how the director felt. Afterwards, you would skip dinner and go straight to your studies, staying up until 2 o’clock in the morning, or not sleeping at all. Then, there were study groups that took up the rest of your week and left you feeling ragged. You did all of this to prove to your mother that you weren’t lazy. You were useful.

“I get so disgusted with you. You make me want to choke the life out of you, (Y/N) You make me want to _hate_ you.”

You felt like your heart was being stabbed with a red hot blade once your mother uttered those words.

“Please, mom… D-don’t say that… You don’t mean it… Y-you love me, remember? I’m sorry that I’m such a horrible person. I’m sorry that I wasn’t born a picture perfect child! I’m sorry…”  
“Oh, don’t give me that psychological _bullshit_! I’m tired of it. Do you understand? I’m not going to have someone cop out on me like that! I’m sure as hell not going to let a useless child like you do it!”

_Psychological bullshit._

You wanted to die right then and there. Didn’t she see your hard work and suffering? Didn’t she listen to the phone calls that teachers left or what was said at parent-teacher conferences?!

“Your daughter is a very hard worker, Ms. (L/N). You should be proud. I’m just a little worried about her health, though. Is she getting enough sleep?”

She dismissed your pain and your feelings as the nonsense of a madman. Sure, you had blown up before and had severe nervous breakdowns from stress and anxiety, but by no means were you psychotic. Sure, because of several suicide attempts and arguments, you were sent to three different behavioral health facilities and institutions multiple times each, but you weren’t crazy. 

Everything else was a blur. You don’t remember what was said or done after those two critical words were spoken into existence. You remember passing out from exhaustion on your bed and having a dreamless and restless sleep.

_Creak!_

“(Y/N). I want you out of my house. I want you out. Grab what little stuff you have, and _get out_.”

You could quite literally feel your heart breaking. Tissue was ripping apart; veins collapsing in on themselves; arteries failing. You felt numb. You felt like falling down and dying right there. You gripped your sheets tightly and shuddered, your held back cries causing your body to shake under the pressure.

“If you don’t start packing up your shit up right now, I’m calling the EMTs again. Then, the whole neighborhood can see how psychotic you actually are.”

Stoically and silently, you went to grab a garbage bag. You began to stuff the sack with T-shirts, jeans, underwear, and hygiene items. Your mother watched as you struggled to hold yourself together. You could even see a wicked sneer if you were quick enough to catch it. When she saw you pack your book bag with your school supplies, your mother scoffed.

“Oh? So, you’re planning to go to school? That’s cute. How are you going to get there, huh? Where do you think you’ll go afterwards, hmm?” Your mother chuckled and folded her arms. “Why am I even asking these questions? After I give up my parental rights, you won’t be my problem anymore. You’ll belong to the State. You will be another number to them, and you’ll be fresh meat for the dirty men and women there.”

Give up parental rights? You could do that? Once you got tired of caring for this parasite of a child, you could just give up and turn them over to the government? Despicable! How cruel?! Your mother promised you that she would never leave you!

“Y-y-you said that you wouldn’t leave me! How dare you lie to me like that?!”  
“I never thought that you would push me to this point. Now, let’s go.”

-

“I’ll do it for you, Dan. Stay right here.”  
“(Y/N), you don’t have to. Besides, you’re pregnant. You need to rest as much as you possibly can.”

A cold sensation went up your spine. Rest… Rest? Rest was for the lazy.

“D-Dan. I can do it! I want to be useful! Plus, you know how hard it is for me to watch people work and I could be helping!”  
“Babe, I’m putting the nursery furniture together. This isn’t work for a woman with a baby. Maybe you could do gentler things like decoration, but as long as I’m carrying heavy items and power tools, you’re not lifting a finger.”

You felt like screaming at this point. Your knees were buckling under you as you felt that you were a child again under your mother’s admonishing glare and being verbally abused for your lack of energy.

“Daniel, please don’t leave me… I’m useful… I swear I am… I may not get things right the first time, and I may be tired at times, but I will keep pushing even if it kills me. Just don’t… Don’t leave me!” You cried into the room. Tears were freely flowing down your cheeks as you whimpered in shame and in response to the flashbacks. “I-I promise you… Our child won’t be a lazy bum like I was. I’ll instill a strong and hard work ethic and make sure that they are never a disappointment.”

Dan turned around and approached you with an expression of concern and confusion. “(Y/N), what’s happening? What are you talking about?”

“I was always… p-punished for lazing around when I was a kid. My mother… s-she told me that I was useless… That I felt that I was entitled to watch the people around me work themselves to death while slept and sat the days away. Now, please! Let me help you, Danny! I can’t stand to see you work alone! I can’t stand for you to grow upset with me and abandon me!”

Your breathing was ragged as you tried to push Danny aside and assemble the crib.

“T-this piece goes here, and….”

Suddenly, like a clap of thunder, Dan’s voice boomed from behind you.  
“Enough!”

You dropped the pieces of wood with a clanking sound. The subsequent silence wrapped its arms around your neck as you struggled to breathe.

“I don’t know what makes you think that you can be Superwoman all the time! Honestly, you’re one of the most diligent and hardworking people I’ve ever met. You’re productive all the time, and you get things done in the most efficient way possible. It’s natural for anyone to get tired after a while!” Dan began.  
“But I’m lazy, and I-“  
“Were you listening to a thing I said?! Get out of those memories and listen! I love you, and I _want_ to take care of you! You do so much for us already! Besides, you have the baby to think about! If you get hurt, the child gets hurt too!”

He what? He wanted to take care of you? 

“Thank you, Danny. Thank you so much.”


	17. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 『Good morning, baby~. Did you sleep well?』

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dark. Read at your discretion.  
> https://www.binarytranslator.com  
> ごめんなさい? - (Pron. “Gomenasai”) I’m sorry?

A sweet kiss was placed upon my lips. It was her. She’s the first thing I see. I’m content. 

“Good morning, baby~. Did you sleep well?”

Her voice, like the songbirds twittering outside, put me at ease. 

“I slept as well as I could with a human that’s scheduled to scream every three hours.”

She chuckled and batted my shoulder playfully. Her eyes closed into a pair of crescents as she smiled kindly at me.

“Well, I’m glad. It hasn’t been easy for me to sleep either, you know? With the both of us having to wake up so frequently to satisfy the needs of a child, resting gets a little tough to do.” She explained, the saccharine smile never leaving her delicate features. 

She had a twinkle in her eye, like the stars shimmering in the twilight. Her skin, soft and warm like the blankets that surrounded us in their loving embrace. Her hair, a mussed and fluffy bed-head, absorbed the radiant shafts of sunshine. It was as if a halo of light and white gold were crowning her angelic figure. I could say this with complete honesty: looking at her was my favorite thing to do. 

“What’s wrong, dear? Is something the matter?” She asked, putting a finger to those perfectly kissable lips.  
“Everything’s fine. Perfect, really. Don’t you worry about anything.” I replied dismissively.  
“Something’s troubling you, babe. I can see it. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

She ran her fingers through my dark hair and pouted cutely as she searched my eyes for the woes and burdens plaguing my mind. Her eyes never lost that twinkle. They only changed slightly to convey a mood completely parallel to the one before it. I couldn’t bear to withhold anything from those eyes of hers. They were pleading for honesty. I would be a monster to deceive them,

“It’s just that I’m afraid you’ll leave me again. Everything is just going so well… I’m just bracing myself and anticipating when things will crumble down. I can’t go through it again… Especially now more than ever, now that the baby is here…”  
“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay. I promise I won’t leave your side again. You’re the one I belong to, understand? Not _him_ or anyone else. I’m yours, baby. Remember that. I love you so much. I love you æqç8įl…. I love you

 

P̶̨̡̬͇͍͍͎̦̫͎̹͇͍̺̬̬̖̹̠̩͇͎̋̄͐̉̓a̵̡̛͍̹̗̺̣̼̮͚̣̘̦̗̳̜͒̾͂̀̿̓̈́̋̇͂͌͗̓̅͋̒̀̈́̀̚͘͜͜͝ͅş̵̡̞͎͚̪͇̭͇̫̭̠̳͔̦͙͉̜̓̎̋̈́͑́͛̃̄ͅt̴̛͙̰̯͍̪̘͙͚͙̺̩̿͑̋̉̅̈́͊͆̄́̍͂͂́̅̓̓̾̍̄̚͘͜

 

ṫ̸͚̏̽́̈̈́̿͂͊͂̓͊͛͐̍̄̎̌̏̅͋̈́̓͊̆͊̓̇̐̈́̽h̸̢̛̭̱͕̱͕͐̿̓̈́͂̈́̃͑̾̃̏̓́̽̎̅̔̉͌͘͝͠͝͠͠ȩ̵̪̥̯̘͚̗̺̭̽̊̾̈́̐̏̈̊̃͗͐̇͘̕͝

 

p̴̡̡̢̭̙̟̺͇̩̪̠̖͎͎̤̦̦͌̎̒̓̀̊̀̅̎́͋̎́̈́͑̇̆̔̐̆̕̚̚͠ͅȍ̵͎̼ḭ̴̛̛͓̲̗͈̦̮̪̥̘̌̌̑̀͊̽̇̓̋̉̈́͋̄̊͊̓̔̐̈̔̅̃̔̓͝͝n̶̢͙̳̭̗̞̥͍͓͈̼̙͍̟̟͊̿̿̀̎̀̀͐͌́͑̃͊̀͆t̴̖͔̓

 

ǫ̷̪̩̣̣̳̟͖̯͍̻̞̰̺̳̗̪̲͙̬̼̝̥͚̱̆̀̐̄́̀͘̕͜͜͜͠͝ͅͅͅf̸̢̨̧̡͔͍͕̪̥̬̞̗͚̮̟̺͇̲̰̣̜͇͉̩̬̼͍̺̐̄̽̎̈́̾͒͑̄̓́̐̂́̍̀̀́͐̊̕͝͝͠

 

ņ̴͕̥̤͓̤̝͎͓̫͙͚̦̟̱̞̮͎̤͚̼̜͍̪͎͒̐̿̇̓̀͌̆̋̐̽̾̾̚̕̕͜͝o̷̡̧͓̼̦͎͉̼̞͍̟̟̺̳̾͆̐̍́͑̀̈̆̆̈́̉͌̔̑͠͠ͅ

 

Ṙ̶̡̪͕̺̺͎͋̚ ̵̡̧̢̢̡̛̲͓̩̜̲̺̞͍̬͈̟͔̬͔̖̗̞̯͎́̃̇̐̓̀̽̒́͑̀͌̀̊͂́̑͌̓̋̔̑̂̔̅̌͛̿͌̒̂͊̃́̅̓̀̀̂̏͆̚̕͝͠͝ͅÈ̸̡̨̢̨̡̡̛̠̤̜̙̟͓͎͙͓̩̣̫̹̗̥̺͙̰͇̪͈͕͍͔͓̰̻̻̠͙̗̦̣͚̲̀̎͋̈̔̀̅͌̽̅̂̍̏̊̋̔̔͊̐̒̑̓̚̕͜͠͝ͅ ̵̞̮͍̫̠̤̱̟͂̃̅́̕͝Ţ̸̭̞̝̌͒͌̂̊̑̔͑͂̋͋̈́̏̆̊̿̈́̈́͑͐̀́̀̏̎͒͗̆̒̚̕͝͝ ̴̛̬̯͙̝̙̞̩͍͕̙̥̲̻̺͇̹̺̫̝̰̉̀́̂̿̆̋̐̈͑̌͋͋̉̓͛͌̃̎̓́͑̆̒̉̍̂̂̀͌̅̏̈͑͛́̌͘̕͜͜͜ͅU̷̡̢̧̨̢̳͖̞̹̗̼̼̭͉̬͚̙͕̙̞̘͎̲̰̰̩͍͙̘̯̘̳͓͎̟̼̮̼̯̝̓̋͐́̔̐̀̌̇̀̑̄̋́̌̓̍̎̿͒̇̽̈́̅̅͐͋̏̐̆̏̈́͘̚͘͜͝͠͠͠ͅͅ ̸̧̡̡̢̢̨̢̢̻̙̦̝͍̞͖̩͕̫̮̼̻̱̱̼̜͓̜̼̪̙͇̲̫̩̬̟͇̞̤̙͉̺̲͈̪͖̟̥̮̗͍̔͗̋̉̑͊̈́̍͗̓̀̈̾̂̀̂̓̿̉̃͛̒̉͛̄̈́̽̑̓̓͝͝ͅR̵̨̢͚̺͇̖̻̮͙͉͓̖̤͇̟͇̞̤̠̙͉̥̣̯̲̞̮̞̣͍̱̠̪̜̪̜̘̤͕̥̤͍̩̼̔̒̑̿̃̒̓͊̈́̈́͂̒́̈́̆͊͛̎͘͘̚͜͜͝ ̶̡̢̡̨̢̧̡̧̢͙͖̥͕̲̼͎͔̤͓͕͓̟̥͔̣̼̺̬͔̝̣̻͍̜͈̭̤͇̫̼̱̰̝̪͇̞̜̇̋̐̒̎̂̓͐͌̒̐̃̈́̆̆̽̀̃͗͋́́̏͑̉̎́͌̀̿͂͑̿̚͘͘͘͘͜ͅŃ̴̡̧̘͍͈̯̟͚̹̲̠͓̖͋̕͜

 

An hellish screech sliced through my eardrums, causing me to double over in pain. 

“01011001 01101111 01110101 00011001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101001 01100011 01101011 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00011001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110111 01100001 01111001 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01101001 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110100 01110010 01110101 01110011 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100001 01111001 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100001 01100110 01100110 01100101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00011001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100001 01101101 01100001 01100111 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110010 01110100 00101110”

It was her. She was skeletal, emaciated. An infant lay limp in her arms.

“What’s going on?! What do you want from me?!”  
“...”  
“...”  
“...”  
“...”

“Please! Make it stop!”  
“...”  
“...”  
“...”

“Baby, please!”  
“...”  
“...”  
“01001001 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00011001 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00011001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110000 01110010 01100101 01100011 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01110010 01110101 01100101 01101100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101110 00101110 00101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110101 01110011 00101110 00101110 00101110 00001010 00001010 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01110000 01110000 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100010 01111001 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110110 01100101 01101110 01101111 01101101 01101111 01110101 01110011 00100000 01110011 01110000 01101001 01110010 01101001 01110100 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100111 01100101 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01000010 01110010 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110101 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100011 01101011 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01100100 00111010 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 01101100 01100101 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110010 01110100 01100101 01100100 01101100 01111001 00101110.”

Tears were pouring down my cheeks into the dark void the sunlit bedroom has become. Each incoherent sound she mumbled dug into my flesh like red hot blades. My heart was shattering and repairing itself, only to be shattered again with increasingly devastating results.

“01001001 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00011001 01110100 00100000 01100010 01110010 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101101 01111001 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110101 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00101110 00100000 01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01110010 01101111 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01101101 01100101 00111111 00100000 01000001 01101101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110011 01100001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00111111 00100000 01000110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00111111 00100000 01000110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100111 01101001 01110110 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00111111”

“Stop it! I can’t take this anymore!! _I’m sorry!_.”

「。。。 ごめんなさい？」  
“Hmm…”  
“...”  
“...”  
“Wake up.”

Before I could process what she was saying, I was in my cold bedroom. Alone. Once more. The sun was there, but she wasn’t. There was no warmth. Just… Emptiness. A knock was heard on my door.

“Come in.”

Delia waltzed into the room with a lopsided grin.  
“Morning, baby~. Did you sleep well?”


	18. I Have to Forgive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A personal chapter for me. I hope you enjoy.

“You did this to yourself. It’s your fault. You’ve ruined yourself.”  
The same scenario played in your head over and over again. Her eyes pierced into your shattered heart; you crumbled pitifully beneath her. She glared as the atmosphere around you turned frigid and empty.  
“Mom, stop it! I’m begging you! I’m trying to improve! I’m trying to be of use!”  
Silence.  
“If you were trying, it would have been done by now! If you were really interested in these activities, you would be the one rushing me to go instead of it being the other way around.” Your mother snarled.  
Your idea of pushing people and rushing had inevitably become one and the same with your mother’s: harsh barking and snide comments to prod others into obedience. Whenever you try to do the same, you always get into trouble and are seared by the hateful words and glares you get from your mother and your peers alike. You didn’t understand why it was so wrong when you did it. Why was it okay when others asserted their dominance and superiority but when you did it, it was a heinous crime that sentenced you to death? Were you meant to be weak and beholding to others?  
“I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.”  
“You’re so pathetic, you know that? All you do is apologize.  
“I’m—” You began. Your words were caught in your throat.  
“You were getting ready to apologize again, weren’t you? Christ, I swear that’s all you do. You eat, sleep, and apologize. _Stop it._ No one is going to pity you. No one.”  
-  
_No one is going to pity you. No one._  
You were a statue on the living room sofa as Danny walked in from a few hours of recording with Arin. You felt his hands press gently against your concrete shoulders and slowly kneaded them.  
“Hey, lovely. You okay? You’re really tense.”  
You blinked absentmindedly and looked at Danny. “Huh? I’m fine. I was just thinking.”  
“Thinking about what, babe?”  
“My mother.”  
Daniel paused before sitting beside you. “Baby, it’s okay. You don’t-“  
“I want to see her again.”  
“You what?! That’s like wanting to see Arturo again. Are you crazy?!”  
“I have to, Danny. I have to get closure. I have to forgive her.”  
Danny sighed thoughtfully. “I understand, but this isn’t worth _ruining yourself_ over.”  
_You did this to yourself. It’s your fault. You’ve ruined yourself._  
_You’ve ruined yourself._  
_Ruined yourself._  
“S-stop it! I haven’t ruined myself! I am a grown ass woman now! I know exactly what in the hell I’m doing, mom!” You screeched.  
Taken aback, Danny stammered and blinked rapidly at your sudden outburst. “(Y/N), baby. I-“ He paused, realizing that he had inadvertently triggered a flashback.  
“(Y/N), listen to me! We’re going to see her, okay? I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t realize that would set you off. We’re going to get you some help, too. We’re getting some help for you as soon as we get back, okay?”  
You shivered. The idea of “getting some help” for you for most of your life was being hastily sent away to the nearest mental facility with vacancies to give your mother a break from her burden of a daughter. Placebo medications were shoved down your throat as you were out with others “like you” and monitored constantly on cameras that weren’t even close to being hidden like the animals you were to them. After daily and hourly sessions of arbitrary questions like,  
“Do you want to kill yourself?”  
Naturally, you would respond monotonously, yet convincingly, “No.”  
“Do you want to hurt yourself or others?”  
So badly you wanted shout, “Yes! I want to hurt the woman who shipped me here to this sterile hellhole! I want to hurt my mother for hurting me so badly!” But you didn’t want to stay there any longer than you had been to.  
“No.”  
“Are you depressed?”  
For the first time, you answered with the affirmative. “Yes.”  
“What does that feel like?”  
“Like I want to run away and never come back.”  
“Please don’t send me away, Danny! I can’t go back to another inpatient facility!”  
“Are you kidding me? I would never do that. No, baby. I know how those places can be. I would never dream of dropping you off somewhere like that, especially now that you’re pregnant. Who knows what will happen to you and the baby there?”  
Arms gently wrapped around you as Dan held you close to his chest. “I’m never letting you go again. I love the both you too much.”  
You cried into him as he peppered kisses in your hair. You never wanted to let go. You never wanted to leave. You wanted to stay in his arms forever. You wanted to be loved-genuinely loved forever.


End file.
